**Disclaimer - if you're a wuss about natural bodily functions, well... then I'm not exactly sure how we're friends.**
Poop.
This is actually a label I made (thanks to my Mr. Labelmaker) and have displayed on my desk at work. Poop is funny! |
Why is it so taboo to talk about poop?
It's just poop! We all do it. Can't really avoid it (unless you live on sugar water, in which case, you have other, more serious issues. Like you're probably a diabetic. Or a butterfly).
Some folks will wait until the bathroom is completely empty before letting one go (for fear the super judgemental people in this world will...what? Judge you? *gasp!*).
Or what about the people that avoid pooping in public restrooms altogether and will instead go all the way home to do it in private. What if you're out somewhere and you REALLY have to go and you're nowhere near a safe, private toilet, and there's a line for the restroom 20+ people deep and there's no way you can get in and out without anyone seeing or hearing you? What then?
What about the phantom poopers who are never seen going to the bathroom EVER, but will leave a little gift for the next user. Those are the BEST.
But then there are those incredibly uninhibited poopers that just don't give a flying rat's ass. All conversations with these people eventually digress to talking about poop. Individuals that actually have classifications for the different "types" of poops.
For example:
- The Holy Sh*t - a poo that is SO big you just have to take a picture for documentation and gloating purposes (usually these people send this photo off in a text to their friends, beaming with a sense of accomplishment).
- The No-Wiper - On the last day of summer vacation, after you've had your last "real" meal (before the school cafeteria sludge begins) - the planets align and everything comes out solid and you're left completely wipe free.
The rarest kind are the battle sh*tters that actually revel in the thrill of making everyone else gag from the sound and smell of their triumph on the porcelain throne.
Admit it - you wish you had someone to battle against.
;-)
-slr
1 comment:
Don't forget the kindly folks who leave you the "claymore poop" where they have sprayed all over the toilet and don't clean it up.
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